Currently Listening Back in Black (Deluxe Digipak) By AC/DC see related

Hooking up vs. a relationship

"What do you do for money honey? How do you get your kicks?" -AC/DC 

At this point in time, I've lost touch with "my kicks," as I haven't had one in a while. My solution: hook up with someone I have no emotional connection to. Is this really the best course of action? It will definitely be awesome while I'm doing it, there's no doubting that, and it will be almost as good for the next three to four days when reminiscing, but in the long run it doesn't do much for me. My question is this; is it worth the emotional and time investment to try and meet someone I could hook up with whenever I wanted, not when it was most convenient for both parties involved, for the potential long term good romantic feelings felt as a a result of a relationship based on a mutual connection? Would it be worth that getting-to-know-you phase, followed by a subsequent analysis of whether or not I was better off having met this person or not followed by a possible feeling of wow-this-person-is-amazing-I-want-to-spend-as-much-time-as-possible-with-them/talking-to-them and then that fateful first hookup which is potentially awkward or amazing. Is it worth all that or is it better to amass a few good "friends with benefits" as it were, and skip all those steps in between.

Admittedly, hooking up is better when the people involved actually care about one another, but that would entail a relationship. Damn that word. It's innocent and unassuming on the surface, but those four syllables can mean an emotional roller coaster where the downs are steeper and more perilous than the ups. Sometimes you didn't realize you had to be strapped in tightly, that it was going to be a very bumpy ride. The description was deceptive and if had known what you were getting yourself into you may not have stood in line for the ride to begin with. Relationships are a lot of work too, whereas the random hook up couldn't be easier when there are two willing individuals. Additionally, the guilt of hooking up with someone actually interested in a relationship is only temporary. It's not as if the experience is contingent upon future long walks on the beach and bubble baths and sharing one's feelings. It is best taken at face value: two horny people getting it on. Yes, I think sometimes life according to the lyrics of AC/DC has just the right amount of hedonism to be the starting point for some very suitable paradigms.

New Year's Eve- Why do we do what we do on this "holiday''? Where did the tradition start of watching the ball drop, why a ball? I think besides an excuse to drink an exhorbitant amount of liquor, new year's is a chance to celebrate the fact that our fucked up lives haven't ended, we are here one year later and we will be here one more year if all goes reasonably well.

On a separate but related note, why are exes able to still hurt us so deeply? Why, deep down, do we still care what they think of us? My ex girlfriend said some nasty things, i.e., you have no life and you never did, you have no friends, you never loved me, you don't know what love is, you're emotionally crippled, you're always going to be the same because people like you never change, and that I only got in a relationship with her so I could get in her pants. She isn't reading this, and won't unless I tell her to, whih I'm not going to, but I still feel the need to defend myself.

Firstly I admitted I didn't really know what love is when we were together and I still don't. I was wrong for saying the words back without true meaning behind them, and even more wrong for continuing to say them when I didn't believe in them. I do need help and am getting it whereas she won't even admit she has a problem, she has many, and I have few good friends, but friends nonetheless. Lastly, she lived thousands of miles away, so the fact that I just wanted sex was just a lie on my part, because I was too scared to admit it was my fault the relationship ended and my fault it went as badly as it did in the last stages of it. She should have figured that out instead of throwing it in my face months later when I called to see how she was doing and to wish her happy holidays.

Currently Listening Tragic Kingdom By No Doubt spiderwebs see related

institutionalized

i open my veins to keep from going insane. it's a pain i can't measure but my release is inane. my life force, my treasure is spilling out, fanning out. the water distorts consciousness and to this religion i am devout. i never get a rest putting my sanity to the test. but a clarity falls like rain, i allow myself to understand. i let enlightenment seal my veins and we soldiers walk hand in hand picking up the broken pieces of our lives as the fog clears and they start to make sense.we reach a clearing full of beehives but this time we don't smell incense. the distortion is over, we begin again with supportive hands on our shoulders. i open my mind and drink the honey, bask in the sunshine. i partake in life's joys with skills for coping npthing phases me, especially not money. each experience is welcome, like a new toy. i bury the razor that once was my release. what i once thought made me saner will only make me crazier. i find my swimsuit, fold out the well-worn creases and swim happily through life's ocean in perpetual forward motion.

So I'm in Barnes and Noble, and I see an empty lounge chair and an empty seat. By lounge chair, I mean sofa for one, the true term for which has escaped me at the moment, and by seat I mean wooden chair. I take the chair and start reading, as the other's accompanying ottman had an empty plate and cup on it. To me, leaving dirty dishes on an ottoman reserves the chair, but someone sat down shortly thereafter. This in and of itself would not be noteworthy, but when the guy sitting there got up, I decided to take the seat if he headed for the exit. He went to check out magazines, so I assumed he was going to return to the chair after selecting new reading material. Seeing an empty chair, a woman with a laptop asked the woman next to the empty seat, who was oblivious and a perfect target for the fashion police, if someone was still sitting in it. The woman said no, so she sat down and proceeded to use the ottoman for its intended purposes, despite the fact that there were dishes on it. The man looking for a magazine was literally 15 feet away, and said something like, it's ok. The laptop woman didn't hear him, so he said even louder, it's ok, I have to leave for work anyway. Laptop lady hears this, and says, oh, I'm sorry were you sitting here? He walks towards the chair and says, my mother always said to give one's seat to a lady. Now I have some issues with this situation. One, the guy was obviously planning to sit back down in the seat, and instead of saying so he took the passive-aggressive route. Had laptop lady not heard him the second time he made a statement, I'm guessing he still would have walked by and made the mother comment. I might have gone for a, you move you feet you lose your seat type comment, but I chose the truly empty seat. Second, it wasn't enough to express to laptop lady she took the seat he was sitting in, he had to make himself look chivalrous. Granted, a seat at Barnes and Noble isn't worth arguing over, as there are no rules regarding seats, but something about human nature is evident after this incident. People like to be given credit for not being assholes. While that's an apparent generalization, no other explanation can be derived from this sequence of events. Instead of figthing for the seat, the guy gave it up. But he needed validation from the person he did a favor. He needed recognition for his politeness.

Why isn't it enough for people to do the right thing anymore? Why do people need to draw attention to themselves when they allow something as simple as a trip to the bookstore for free wi-fi and/or allowance to read magazines to run smoothly for everyone involved?

People just suck, indefinitely. I was reading Brave New World, as it were, and wondering if it really would be better to be genetically engineered and conditioned to a specific social class and subsequent job, housing and lifestyle. Would it be easier to take drugs after every meal and as a result always be in a state of drug-induced euphoria? I really don't know.